The Phrase You Need In 2024
Nope, it isn't "rizz"
Words unlock emotions.
Every now and again, somebody puts the right key in the right lock and turns it the right way.1 Most people have a favourite word or phrase - some linguistic flourish that is the perfect meeting of key and lock.
Unsurprisingly, we’re not all unique in our tastes - serendipity is a common choice for favourite word (I also enjoy ‘kerfuffle’, ‘mellifluous’ and ‘discombobulated’ from this list compiled by the sharp-eyed editors of Merriam-Webster) and in a study of 1,500 Britons, ‘cuddle’ finished top of the pile.
It’s influenced by culture - some of us prefer the musicality of a word or how it flicks off our tongue (students of French seem to have a particular affinity for ‘pamplemousse’), whereas others ascribe more to the meaning of a word.(a study conducted by professor Takeshi Sato of Hitotsubashi University in Japan showed that ‘effort’ and ‘sincerity’ won out). It changes with age - a small study by creativity author Michael Michalko showed that nursing home residents preferred ‘God’, ‘faith’, ‘family’, and ‘health’, words more closely tied to our mortality, sense of meaning, and humanity. The meaning behind words might hold more value as we age and as our opportunities to use them dwindle. Brevity is an acquired skill.
Anyways, I always liked the question of ‘what is your favourite word’ (it’s a great icebreaker, as I learned from the great rev goodale) because it’s always so revealing. Many have a word that lodged in their brain whilst reading a childhood book. Some pick something more utilitarian - ‘fuck’ or ‘love’. I can even remember someone saying ‘money’ once, in the first class of an Intro to Finance module (I’m pretty sure they misinterpreted The Wolf of Wall Street, and that they’re probably in jail now).
For this reason, I usually enjoy the Oxford ‘Word of the Year’. Like the Oscars, it’s usually some sort of cultural signpost or a red rag to incite discourse (previous examples: ‘goblin mode’, ‘selfie’ and the 😂 emoji), and this year was no different. They landed on ‘Rizz’, beating ‘Swiftie’, ‘situationship’, and a host of other vomit-inducing words that make me want to shot-putt my phone into the Marianas Trench.
Rizz is (*sigh*) a shorthand for charisma, the kind that attracts a romantic partner (for a matter of minutes, or years). I would say that not only is it not a worthy word of the year, it’s not even the best new way to express a form of charisma.
That one goes to Adrienne Matei of The Atlantic, who, in the dying embers of 2023, coined a spectacular new phrase - the Vibe Pope.
Vibe Popes hand out charisma “at social events, such as the holiday parties at this time of year, and use it to guide the energy of a shared occasion”, earning them “a nondenominational title for those who unite people under the divine light of a good time.” They offer “warmth, emotional intelligence, and social generosity at a time when going out and meeting people isn’t what it used to be.”
Isn’t that the best thing ever? Not only do I aspire to some day reach the higher office (and vocation?) of full-on vibe papacy, I can immediately think of three or four prospective pontiffs among my friends and family. My favourite thing about the phrase isn’t just that it succinctly describes the kind of generous, warm, charming person that brings life to any room and party - it also honours them, giving them a title of status and respect. Vibe popes bring ‘considered' facilitation’ to social occasions, whether it’s stewarding the aux, bringing different friend groups together, or making shyer guests feel welcome.
Matei writes that the “the labor behind building community, both practical and spiritual… can become a quiet burden to whomever bears it.” Vibe popes carry that weight for us. They probably did a couple of times over the Christmas season. And I for one am delighted that 2023 has yielded a new word to acknowledge and appreciate that work.
So, what’s your favourite word?
Recommended Reading to Kick-Start 2024
The Type of Charisma That Saves a Holiday Party
If you have the gift of magnetism, use it for others’ benefit.
by Adrienne Matei in The Atlantic
Read it because: it defines and explores the new world of the vibe pope, which instantly hooked me. But I was more interested in Matei’s take on post-COVID gatherings: why we undervalue them now, and why they often feel a bit underwhelming.
The Great Buenos Aires Bank Heist
They were an all-star crew. They cooked up the perfect plan. And when they pulled off the caper of the century, it made them more than a fortune—it made them folk heroes.
by Josh Dean in GQ
Read it because: Maybe you spent some of the pandemic watching ‘Money Heist’ and you didn’t know it was based on a true story. Maybe you like the artfulness and stagecraft of a well-planned robbery. Or maybe you’re just a bit of an outlaw at heart, and you like seeing a band of criminals break into a bank, steal an untold amount of money, and make their getaway without a scratch. Whatever it is, you’ll enjoy this rollicking tale - it’s all true.
The Fall of My Teen-Age Self
This particular April, I’d sworn to my mother I wasn’t smoking. Therefore: stolen cigarettes. Therefore: windowsill.
by Zadie Smith in The New Yorker
Read it because: It would probably be worth reading Zadie Smith describing the various kinds of household dust - that’s how good of a writer she is. This piece encompasses the acquisition of many things in a moment of freefall - love, gratitude, and a sense of self. It reminded me of that quote attributed to Lenin: "There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen…”
Has Gratuity Culture Reached a Tipping Point?
Paying extra for service has inspired rebellions, swivelling iPads, and irritation from Trotsky and Larry David. Post-pandemic, the practice has entered a new stage.
by Zach Helfand in The New Yorker
Read it because: in the past couple of years, you have probably been asked to tip for something you never used to tip for before. This is a surprisingly delightful exploration of how tipping has sprawled into new areas, looking at the history, the legalities, and the culture around it. My favourite excerpt: “In France, tips were placed directly into a wooden box called le tronc, controlled by the proprietor. French waiters went on strike in 1907, identifying two of the great evils of their profession: le tronc, and a ban on mustaches… They eventually prevailed on both counts.”
Napoleon director Ridley Scott: ‘I do 120 hours a week. I think I’m working class, right?’
At 85, the film-maker has been making almost a movie a year for two decades – and there’s still something of an old-school showman about him
Read it because: 2023 managed to produce quite a few fine films. Two of the biggest releases were Napoleon and Killers Of The Flower Moon, directed by Ridley Scott (age 85) and Martin Scorsese (age 81) respectively. This is a really entertaining interview with one of the grand old showmen of the silver screen, documenting his rise from hotshot advertising exec to world-famous film director. If you’re still mulling over New Year’s Resolutions, Scott is evidence that it’s never too late to start.
That’s all for this week folks - let me know if you enjoyed the recs (you can tap the ‘like’ button, reply to this mail or comment below) and if you know someone who would enjoy - just forward this mail.
This is the top comment on one of my favourite mashups - Bicep’s ‘Glue’ blended with Rui da Silva’s classic ‘Touch Me’.
One of my favorite reads so far - shout out to all the Vibe Popes out there, a little kindness goes a long way for those that are new to a gathering of otherwise closer friends